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MACON, GA James Stotts, a 900 pound man whose morbid obesity has made him dependent upon family, friends and neighbors for most of his adult life, was officially left to die Monday. Too large to get out of bed or provide for himself in any way, Stotts, 37, had relied on aid from others for survival since first topping the 600 pound mark in 1986. "He can't even go to the bathroom by himself," said Macon councilman Gus Friar, co sponsor of the Stotts abandonment referendum, which passed by a wide majority. "I'll be Hermes bag replica damned if I know what he's going to do now. I guess he'll die, probably." Macon mayor Sandra Tomlinson was more Hermes Birkin 30CM Handbag replica conciliatory in her remarks. "It is sad and tragic that, in our society, a fellow human being can deteriorate into such a pitiable state. I hope he comes up with some way to help himself, although I can't imagine how."

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WASHINGTON, DC Returning from a historic ten day, six nation visit to Africa, President Clinton announced Wednesday that he is "glad to finally be back in civilization." Said Clinton: "While this was an important visit to an all too often overlooked region of the world, I cannot tell you how good it is to be back in a place where I can get a decent sandwich and don't have to worry about being eaten by rhinos. And you would not believe the bathrooms over there: In Rwanda, I had to hold it in until I reached a country with indoor plumbing. And if you're looking to relax and watch a little TV in Botswana, forget about it." Clinton stressed that, despite the continent's profound lack of comforts, much was accomplished on the trip. "I am optimistic that a greater bridge of understanding can be built between the fascinating and diverse people of Africa and regular people," he said.

PHOENIX third Wonka Golden Ticket was discovered Monday by American used car heiress Violet Beauregard, reducing the number of undiscovered tickets to two. "It is imperative that I obtain a Wonka ticket," Pittsburgh steel magnate Alfred Van Crowley said. "My billions of dollars and thousands of loyal employees are of no comfort to me if I cannot tour the fantastic and mysterious Wonka factory and, most importantly, claim for myself a lifetime supply of chocolate, the most important substance in the universe." All other citizens of Earth have responded similarly, depleting supermarkets and sweetshops of crates of Wonka bars the moment they arrive. Analysts have noted with alarm that, thus far, no dear, good hearted children have located tickets, with the first three going to nasty, wicked children.
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SubscriptionsGo to the Subscriptions Centre to manage your:My ProfileConst. David Hopkinson, spokesperson for the Toronto Police Service, said Hermes Kelly bag replica police have issued a public safety alert about the incidents, both of which occurred near coffee shops."We are warning members of the public, if they are going to be out and about this morning, please Hermes Kelly handbag knock off be careful, lock your doors, have a good look at who may be around you," he said."We don't want this to happen to anyone else."In both incidents, two men on foot approached female drivers sitting in their cars. The vehicles were either stopped or parked.Black handgun seenThe suspects produced a black handgun, ordered the women to leave and said they would shoot them Hermes handbag imitation if they didn't get out. The men, however, did not seize control of the cars and Hermes Birkin bag replica fled in a nearby white van.
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